The Beginning

Avocados

 As I said before, Avocados (like most things in nature) have the potential to be nourishing- but also have the potential to be poisonous. 

 At this stage of my life, I find stripping to be a nourishing profession... but this has not always been the case..

 When I first started working I was a single, struggling student, who had scrounged enough money for a plane ticket to New York, but had no way of saving enough for accommodation, living money, or to pay off my $10, 000 credit card debt. I needed money fast.

 I had been attending pole dancing classes for about 12 months when I decided to look in to stripping.  I wouldn't say I have a particularly high sex drive, but I have always been drawn to the gritty, glamourous, unspokenly talked about world of strip clubs! I had the interest and the skills- soon I was wiggling naked in front of an Indian man with my first $20 in my garter.

 The club that I was working at had a reputation for being 'the best': clean, no touching, respectable clientele and safe. However, no matter how honest a place is on the surface; any job that places young girls in confronting situations, with large amounts of money and alcohol is asking for colour.

...The first six months I worked 4 nights a week at the strip club, 4 days a week in a low-paying retail job, and 3 days at University studying full time. I was running on next to no sleep.
I did enjoy the job when I first started, but I think my main problem was that I was juggling too many jobs and I was burning out.  I worked beyond the point of enjoying it, and I strongly believe that to be a good stripper, you have to enjoy it! After all, a customer is not just paying because they want to see you naked, they are paying because they want to spend time with you. Generally if your energy tells them that you don't want to spend time with them, then they won't want to spend time with you. Simple!

Six months in, and although I stayed away from chemical assistance to keep me awake- I was drinking a lot, and becoming increasingly sleep deprived.
I was seeing someone, but I wasn't taking it seriously.
My boobs were growing and sore. He told me massage and sex made your boobs grow... I didn't know if that was true, but I chose to believe it and ignore the fact I missed my period.

While picking up eyelashes at the pharmacy I thought I may as well try a pregnancy test...
The first test was positive.
The second was positive.
The third was positive.

I went to a different pharmacy to buy the forth test:
It was positive.

Walking home, I turned back and bought another test...
It was positive.

I went to the doctor and cried.
I then went back to the forth pharmacy and bought folate and pregnancy vitamins.
My eyes were still red and the girl behind the counter looked at me sympathetically...
I never went back to that pharmacy.


I was petrified when I found out I was pregnant. I had a road trip planned around America and I was making money from my body- it wasn't the right time! But, like an avocado, there was poison, and there was nourishment. And like an avocado, life was about to take me on a journey of being ripened, sliced, smooshed, bruised, cut open and enjoyed.